Neighbours
The Czec say a good neighbour increases the value of your
property. I would say a good neighbour increases the value of your life.
Just over a week ago, I left behind my house, my street, my
neighbourhood, my city of the past (give or take) 15 years. As we rode off in that
grey saloon taxi, waving tears of sorrow for what we were leaving behind and
fear for what lied ahead, wondering if the choice to leave the certain for the uncertain
was the right one, a lot of my neighbours happened to be in our street at that
precise moment, all waving back at us, making the departure even harder than I
had anticipated.
The range of emotions went from tears to smiles, remembering
the first conversations, awkward at worse, fun at best, but as we drove off, as
we settled down with the choice we had made and started reflecting on the past,
above all I felt we had finally achieved a sense of community I thought our
modern lives had left to the distant memories of the good old times. Isn’t it
absurd how so often we must leave in order to appreciate what we have?
Neighbours are this hybrid mix of friends one choses and the
family one doesn’t. One never really knows if they mean well or “too” well. Some
are too busy, some are too lonely, a few are old, others are young, most are
adults with their daily preoccupations of seeking this eternal balance between existence
and worthwhileness.
One wants to get to know them as they embody this wonderful
feeling of fellowship without effort, after all talking at the doorstep is
probably the oldest habit of human kind since villages were built. Yet at the
same time we are keen to retain our freedom to be ourselves, to make our
choices, the right or the wrong ones, without the approving or disapproving
looks of others, and of all of the people in our lives, neighbours probably end
up knowing us and our habits best, whether we like it or whether we don’t.
Tradition and history have painted a subconscious portrait
of neighbours as the judges of our journey in the community. Whilst for
centuries this was a blend of help and support mixed with judgement and
sometimes condemnation, and whist these traits still prevail in today’s world,
we, as individuals, have gained a freedom in the western world, that has pushed
these boundaries to the incognito land. The issue with being anonym or using a pseudonym
is that we have ended up more lonely, more isolated, more secluded than ever
before, going against our own communal and cooperative nature.
However, today we are in a much greater position to enjoy this
help, this support and even this friendship whilst gently ignoring any possible
judgement that may occur. After all a judgement is only valid if we accept it.
The biggest teaching I learnt about neighbours was, once
again, through my son. He met a few children in our street a couple of months
back and within a few hours they were glued like siblings, coming in and out of
each other’s homes, laughing, running, dining and arguing like they had always
known each other. They brought life back to our quiet cul de sac, and proved to
the zealous modern parents that most of us are, that playing outdoors adopting
that special brew of imagination and humanity are still the best entertainment
for personal growth and teamwork.
By that same token, they compelled the adults to let go of
any prejudice, preconceptions and presumptions we may have had and embrace our
neighbours as they were: human beings who chose this street for probably the
same reasons as ourselves, a nice quiet neighbourhood, close to shops and
schools, little traffic, good houses and … nice neighbours.
Call it good neighbour, call it good Samaritan, call it good
sense, call it good companion, call it self- service, when you invest in your neighbours,
they are going to grow up and become good productive residents. This is the lesson
I take back with me to the new chapter of my book.
Thank you to Lola, Meggie, Mika, Botti, Kacy, Trixie and
Matteo for showing us the way. Thank you Rachel, Bonita, Richard, Chris,
Ildiko, Zsolt, Glenda, Doreen and the many others I still don’t know the names
of after all these years but certainly noticed: the grand dad of the boy who
does karate, the car dealer, the pharmacist, the old man who lost his wife, the
students, the other families. Thank you to those we met and left us too.
Thank you for having been there for us whether we knew it or
not, thank you for being yourselves and enriching our lives, we hope we can
find as good neighbours in our 2nd floor and beyond of this 11th
floor new building we have just moved into.
