Walking up a mountain

Note to myself: there is a reason why they invented the expressions "climb to heaven" and "go down to hell".

Had the good sense to keep it for myself before I embarked on this journey, so I wouldnt put pressure on myself... Was told on a Saturday night that the following day was the only day suitable to go up the majestic Pico mountain in the Azores islands due to weather conditions... So I did not even have time to panic or be scared... and I realized what I have learnt countless times before, there and then that those are pointless feelings anyway. Fear is a survival emotion we use and abuse to our detriment way too often and paralyses us from reaching our potential way too often.

In total, it took 6 hours and 42 minutes up and down... We climbed up 3/4 of the volcano and the guide said we should go down as it was becoming dangerous... in fact, we had a few storms of wind, snow, hail, rain and mud... And of course ice is beautiful in paintings but dangerous on foot. Like those beautifully crafted people on the outside but cold in their hearts, they can become dangerous after a while.

No we did not walk up a mountain, but yes it was literally climbing with feet, hands, bum and a stick to help. Going up one felt like a god reaching out to heaven, going down was the descent of hell.
I fell 6 times, 4 on snow, 2 on mud, fell flat face on the walking stick, got burnt by the hail in my cheeks, and half way down I wondered why I was thinking that morning if my hair was looking good enough ... It froze!

I learnt that going up in life is a great feeling but you must always remember where you came from and that the higher you climb, the more difficult it will get to come back to reality.

I learnt I must respect and be grateful for my body, at the end of the day this is our most precious gift.
I learnt that in our journey, there will be many mountains to climb but some are more worth than others, and more importantly on must stay realistic and know when danger is ahead of us: it's ok to walk back, it doesnt make your journey less worth it, it makes you a wise person.

I have learnt that the key to success is to take one step at a time, stopping every so often and admire those little details that are so beautiful on our way, that measurement and tracking targets only put on pressure that add no value when you are focusing in doing a proper job, and that balance is the key to our survival.

I have learnt to not assume that what worked 2 seconds ago will be valid 2 seconds later, that there are hidden spots that look innocent but will betray you like some people we meet in our life, but that equally there are some branches which, like the hands of our friends, we can always hold on to, they will never let us down.

Finally I have learnt that if it looks like a mountain, it is a mountain, that you can achieve what you set your mind to do, but that you must always remain humble, honest and true to yourself.

It was an epic journey for me, and I am truly proud of myself. A big thank you to my lovely, patient, interesting and extremely professional guide Mónica from @www.epico.pt whom I highly recommend.

The one word that stayed in my mind: balance.
Ps: note to myself - never ever walk down a mountain again!... until next time

Europe is sick

Europe is sick, we are sick, very sick

Following the asphyxia we imposed to our Greek philosophy that once gave birth to democracy which we took for granted for so long, after losing one of our legs to Brexit as our distant cousins thought hopping or limping would make them rise and walk faster into the unknown, and just before we let our German brains inflict further painful and unnecessary surgeries to our already fragile bodies with the cheap excuse that only private clinics are the cure to our disengaged organs, we have now allowed a double cancer to slowly but surely take over our lungs. 

For so long Equality, Liberty, Fraternity were our symbols, our references, our model of enlightenment, and yet, today we have voted for both inequality, suppression and hostility.

Yes, our choice on May 7^th will be between a man who is backed by all those who created this despicable crisis we are living today in order to accelerate inequality, ignorance and bigotry, to ensure wealth is kept safe in the hands of a few with the backing of the EU institutions, a warily crafted neoliberal establishment, an outdated education system that obstructs reflection and a diabolical media engine that indoctrinates even the most intelligent of creatures, and…

… an individual who has clearly renegaded her feminine roots of care and compassion to cleverly, slowly and surely pick up the remains of the overlooked, the wounded and the distressed, victims of these policies, the weakness of leaders carefully selected for their lack of audacity, and a whole system now judiciously complex, offering the classic simple solutions of plain prejudice, close mindness and chauvinism against those who laid the foundations of its once great empire. 

The saddest part of this whole diagnosis is the fact that ordinary citizens have simply accepted their fate by embodying these venomous toxins and reduce their treatment to a daily dosage of complaints mixed with a few deliriums caused by the contagious fever of their infection.

I hope the medicine men or women who know the solution to a more balanced future will continue to rise to the challenge of rescuing and reconnecting us to our hearts, minds and souls and bring a holistic balanced long term solution to our well-being. 

Until then, I believe we must use what is left of our brains and vote for the least damaging of the two routes in the short term as a first step, and then take responsibility for our health, present and future, and fight every single day against these dangerous bacteria by taking an accurate dose of news, a good amount of reflection and questioning and plenty of love, tolerance and open mindness for one another through dialogue and understanding.

Turning 40

TURNING 40

Some call it the midlife crisis, some say life starts at 40.

Some draw lessons to move forward, some panic at the first signs of a silver hair.

Some celebrate in big style, some say it’s just a number and keep a low profile.

I like to think that every single year is important, as is every day that we are fortunate enough to awake alive and healthy. But I absolutely always make a point to celebrate my birth day every single year. And whilst numbers are just that, numbers, there are some landmarks such as decades that both physical, emotional and spiritually have proven to bring a sense into our lives. 

Perhaps, if nothing else, to make us stop and think.

In a world where there are countless reasons to feel insipid, inconsequential, and worthless, it is often these birth days that show us how even the tiniest of actions do matter; thoughts, feelings and actions put together create this magical recipe that make us who we are and I firmly believe each and every one of us have come to this world with a purpose. 

Some of us know that purpose from birth, some of us will spend our lives searching for that meaning, and most will choose to just live by. 

Whether it’s because I am an Aries, a Connector, a Multipotentialite or a Versatilist, I have chosen the road less travelled to explore this world from as many angles as I have been allowed to, and sometimes not allowed to either. 

As I look back into the past 40 years, I can draw some pretty significant lessons.

I was born out of different cultures, have lived in different lands and have chosen to embrace many principles that have made me who I am today, so now, more than ever, I ask people to ask me who I am rather than where I am from. 

I have learnt that home is where my heart is, where my mind is calm and where my soul is nourished. Rather than a house, or a land, home is where I live experiences, where I share moments, where I am me, myself and I.

I have discovered I like to study and to reflect on such a diverse set of topics, subjects, and insights and that makes me interesting, rather than lost in transit. I have concluded how essential it is to keep my eyes busy with reading, my mind open to new perspectives and my values human. I also concluded apathy and indifference is what makes us accept the unacceptable and whilst many claim that talking is useless, I believe talking is always better than ignoring.

I have built lifelong friendships, some of which have become my rocks, be them far away, be them close by; some know how important they are to me, some don’t and wish they knew; I haven’t always been the perfect friend and chances are, I may never be, I belong to all and I belong to nobody. But I do love my friends and can not conceive my life without them. I have equally closed some chapters that no longer had a meaning for either of us, as time passed by, we grew apart or we evolved in different ways; they may or they may not know this, but I do and I made peace with it.

I have fallen in and out of love with different people that have crossed my path over the years, I have loved and been loved, I have equally left and been left by them; I learnt that love doesn’t come dressed in any particular disguise, shape or colour, that if it’s too difficult it is not love, that passion can blind us, but equally that love does really come when you least expect it, when you are ready to see, feel and experience, and its biggest purpose is to teach us how to love and make us a better version of ourselves. 

I have learnt that we don’t choose the family we are born in, that it may not always be as flawless as we had wished for, but we should really be grateful for all the lessons we were taught over the years. I have learnt that our family is made of human beings, who far from being perfect, did their best with what they knew and didn’t know. Making peace with one’s past is probably the hardest lesson I have learnt, but also the one that has helped me shape who I am the best.

I have lived with others and on my own, I have gotten married and divorced and can proudly wear the badge of experience that taught me who I rather be standing out rather than working hard to fit  in and forgetting my core beliefs in the process. I have learnt what I will and will not compromise on, it is that simple. 

I have learnt we always tend to compare how we feel inside with how we see others on the outside, and what a pointless exercise that is. I have learnt to enjoy my own company and keep my feet on the ground as I do not own the wisdom to judge others. I have equally learnt whom I should share my treasured space and valuable time with, those define the quality of my life and my ability to grow.

I have had various roles and jobs, I have fought, won and lost, countless battles and wars. I am proud to know that throughout it all, I have kept faithful to my principles, beliefs and values. I have treated every person as an equal and have made choices that many will never understand, accepting the full consequences of my decisions, but knowing deep down this was the most balanced decision at the time for myself and for others. I have lost a precious mentor to Death, and at her funeral learnt that our jobs and titles do not define us, our persona do, and that the example of our character is the best legacy we can leave to others.

Finally, I have learnt to be a parent, a mother, a guardian, a guide, a mentor and a teacher to my son. Undoubtedly the hardest of all experiences, as I bear the responsibility to another being’s past, present and future. I have grown as a person and accepted that I too, am only human, that I too have failed and will fail many times, but that equally I have made great choices and shaped my little one to be himself with pride and sensitivity. I have learnt everything comes in circles and cycles, that what we reap is what we sow, that we have control over ourselves but never of others. 

To all those who have been part of my journey, thank you.

To all those yet to come into my life, thank you.

To all of you who remembered my birth day today, thank you.