Turning 40

TURNING 40

Some call it the midlife crisis, some say life starts at 40.

Some draw lessons to move forward, some panic at the first signs of a silver hair.

Some celebrate in big style, some say it’s just a number and keep a low profile.

I like to think that every single year is important, as is every day that we are fortunate enough to awake alive and healthy. But I absolutely always make a point to celebrate my birth day every single year. And whilst numbers are just that, numbers, there are some landmarks such as decades that both physical, emotional and spiritually have proven to bring a sense into our lives. 

Perhaps, if nothing else, to make us stop and think.

In a world where there are countless reasons to feel insipid, inconsequential, and worthless, it is often these birth days that show us how even the tiniest of actions do matter; thoughts, feelings and actions put together create this magical recipe that make us who we are and I firmly believe each and every one of us have come to this world with a purpose. 

Some of us know that purpose from birth, some of us will spend our lives searching for that meaning, and most will choose to just live by. 

Whether it’s because I am an Aries, a Connector, a Multipotentialite or a Versatilist, I have chosen the road less travelled to explore this world from as many angles as I have been allowed to, and sometimes not allowed to either. 

As I look back into the past 40 years, I can draw some pretty significant lessons.

I was born out of different cultures, have lived in different lands and have chosen to embrace many principles that have made me who I am today, so now, more than ever, I ask people to ask me who I am rather than where I am from. 

I have learnt that home is where my heart is, where my mind is calm and where my soul is nourished. Rather than a house, or a land, home is where I live experiences, where I share moments, where I am me, myself and I.

I have discovered I like to study and to reflect on such a diverse set of topics, subjects, and insights and that makes me interesting, rather than lost in transit. I have concluded how essential it is to keep my eyes busy with reading, my mind open to new perspectives and my values human. I also concluded apathy and indifference is what makes us accept the unacceptable and whilst many claim that talking is useless, I believe talking is always better than ignoring.

I have built lifelong friendships, some of which have become my rocks, be them far away, be them close by; some know how important they are to me, some don’t and wish they knew; I haven’t always been the perfect friend and chances are, I may never be, I belong to all and I belong to nobody. But I do love my friends and can not conceive my life without them. I have equally closed some chapters that no longer had a meaning for either of us, as time passed by, we grew apart or we evolved in different ways; they may or they may not know this, but I do and I made peace with it.

I have fallen in and out of love with different people that have crossed my path over the years, I have loved and been loved, I have equally left and been left by them; I learnt that love doesn’t come dressed in any particular disguise, shape or colour, that if it’s too difficult it is not love, that passion can blind us, but equally that love does really come when you least expect it, when you are ready to see, feel and experience, and its biggest purpose is to teach us how to love and make us a better version of ourselves. 

I have learnt that we don’t choose the family we are born in, that it may not always be as flawless as we had wished for, but we should really be grateful for all the lessons we were taught over the years. I have learnt that our family is made of human beings, who far from being perfect, did their best with what they knew and didn’t know. Making peace with one’s past is probably the hardest lesson I have learnt, but also the one that has helped me shape who I am the best.

I have lived with others and on my own, I have gotten married and divorced and can proudly wear the badge of experience that taught me who I rather be standing out rather than working hard to fit  in and forgetting my core beliefs in the process. I have learnt what I will and will not compromise on, it is that simple. 

I have learnt we always tend to compare how we feel inside with how we see others on the outside, and what a pointless exercise that is. I have learnt to enjoy my own company and keep my feet on the ground as I do not own the wisdom to judge others. I have equally learnt whom I should share my treasured space and valuable time with, those define the quality of my life and my ability to grow.

I have had various roles and jobs, I have fought, won and lost, countless battles and wars. I am proud to know that throughout it all, I have kept faithful to my principles, beliefs and values. I have treated every person as an equal and have made choices that many will never understand, accepting the full consequences of my decisions, but knowing deep down this was the most balanced decision at the time for myself and for others. I have lost a precious mentor to Death, and at her funeral learnt that our jobs and titles do not define us, our persona do, and that the example of our character is the best legacy we can leave to others.

Finally, I have learnt to be a parent, a mother, a guardian, a guide, a mentor and a teacher to my son. Undoubtedly the hardest of all experiences, as I bear the responsibility to another being’s past, present and future. I have grown as a person and accepted that I too, am only human, that I too have failed and will fail many times, but that equally I have made great choices and shaped my little one to be himself with pride and sensitivity. I have learnt everything comes in circles and cycles, that what we reap is what we sow, that we have control over ourselves but never of others. 

To all those who have been part of my journey, thank you.

To all those yet to come into my life, thank you.

To all of you who remembered my birth day today, thank you.